In Shakespeare’s speech “The seven ages of man” he was describing man’s development in chronological terms – from birth to death. Today we can apply it to the inner world of emotional growth and development- comparable to Shakespeare’s seven ages. This way of characterising the inner emotional world was originally formulated by Freud who dubbed them ego states. In the 1950’s the psychiatrist Eric Berne who took Freud’s work and turned it into a model for therapeutic work which was called Transactional Analysis (TA). It was – and is – a popular way of thinking about our inner world. Berne identifies three major ego states and suggests that at any given time we are operating from one of these states of mind. As with all states of mind these there have a light and a shadow aspect. So, a Parent state can be experienced as helpful and supportive or critical and condemning. This state of mind shapes the way we conduct all our relationships – with ourselves, our families, our work colleagues. The good parent is helpful and encouraging. The bad parent is always critical and denigratory. One type encourages growth and brings new life. The other brings fear anxiety and misery.
We’re familiar with TA’s model of Parent-Adult-Child and the ways in which each phase determines how an individual responds. So, the Manager who runs their team in strict and punitive ways will create a team who are highly risk averse and “keep to the rules”.
I remember when I was a team manager and my staff were asked to describe my management style. “Easy going”, “supportive”, “relaxed” were the most common words. Then someone described my attitude to risk taking and “thinking outside the box”. She paused for a moment and then said “Terry. It’s not so much ‘thinking outside the box’ as ‘what box’?” I took that as a huge compliment. I think boxes have their place, but they do tend to clutter up the place and get in the way. (My apologies to all box lovers. I’m not belittling boxes. Just commenting on my way of working and Being.)
Finally, we might read society in terms of “Ages”. Politics is one place to begin. What part of President Putin chose to attack the Ukraine? What part of Prime Minister Netanyahu is dominating his war in the West Bank? What part of the Labour Party was active when they replaced Kier Starmer with Andy Burnham? We might wonder what part of the British psyche is represented by Farage’s Reform party.
I thought I’d finish with a loose rewrite of Shakespeare’s “Seven ages of man” speech:
The Seven ages of Man or let our cry come unto thee
1. “I’ve changed my mind, I want to go back” cried the newborn baby.
“I’m sorry my darling. It’s not possible,” smiled the mother.
2. “It’s too much to learn” complained the schoolboy.
“Line upon line. Precept upon precept. And it will be yours.” said the wise teacher
3. “It’s been an hour since I saw my beloved. How shall I live a whole day?” moaned the lover.
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder” counselled the poet.
4. “Damn peace. I need war,” grumbled the restless soldier.
“Don’t worry. War needs men like you,” assured the Commanding Officer.
5. “I have lived my life by the laws of God and Man.” declared the sombre judge.
“Amen and Amen,” affirmed the people.
6. “I wasn’t always this way. I was a proper man. Now look at me,” muttered the psycho-geriatric Mr. Brown.
“It’s hard for you, isn’t it?” comforted the nurse as she put on his dry, clean clothes.
7. Eternal rest. A grave. And peace.
Leave a Reply