Frustrated Writer

(AI generated image)

In contemplating what I might have in my ghost ship, I thought I would introduce what I might call the Signs and Wonders lounge. It contains stories and people that I’ve either met or heard about. They come from 20 years of involvement with charismatic Christianity.

My first story has its roots in the Welsh Revival of 1904 – not that I was there! For some years I attended a small little Pentecostal church – Hayes Apostolic church. The apostolic church was one of a group of Pentecostal churches that, predictably, split over matters of doctrine. Their spiritual home was a Welsh village of Pen-Y-Groes where their equivalent of a cathedral was located. Once a year all the apostolic churches would meet for a two-week convention. For many this was the highlight of their year. Meetings lasted 2-3 hours with lots of hymns and long prayers interspersed with “Hallelujah”s, “Praise the Lord”s and “Amen” along with one or two regional variations.

My favourite part of the meetings was watching a few of the older women dancing before the Lord. They would leave their seats and, for a few minutes, dance, waving their handkerchief as they went and “lifting their Ebenezers before the Lord”. There were usually three or four of these women dancing at any one point in a service. What always impressed me was the way they always found their way back to their seat before the music stopped.

And a word for those of you who aren’t in the habit of “lifting your Ebenezers before the Lord” – it is a reference of a battle the Israelites fought against the Philistines and, with God on their side, won. A memorial rock was raised and known as “Ebenezer” meaning “The Lord has helped us”. (I confess that the image it brought to my mind was of these women running their husbands up a flagpole. The men in question would be skinny and called Ebenezer. And hang from the pole like a ceremonial flag. I leave you with your Ebenezers hanging from their flagpoles.

There were also what I called “anecdotal miracles”. They are stories of miracles that happened elsewhere and to somebody else. But they have been attributed to “a brother” in a meeting somewhere. Said brother has never verified their story, but I’ve heard it two or three times. Spiritual hearsay.  But why let the facts spoil a good story? Particularly in the interest of God and his Kingdom.

One of the characteristics of the charismatic renewal in many churches and groups is the evidence of the work of the Holy Spirit as seen in the gifts of the spirit. Most prominently the gift of speaking in tongues or glossolalia, to give it its technical term. From the dictionary – “Glossolalia, commonly known as “speaking in tongues,” is the fluid vocalization of speech-like syllables that lack recognizable semantic content or a systematic linguistic structure.” Does that help? Speaking in tongues is commonplace in many churches and prized by those who can’t exercise this particular gift.

The story I’ve heard a few times concerns a church member who is not thought of as particularly spiritual. Indeed, the question is always implicitly asked “Is he really saved?” The story goes that the man in question is asked about his speaking in tongues? Is he really using his “tongue” or just making the noises? Someone records his speech and sends it off to be analysed where it transpires that he is speaking old Hebrew! What happens next is not related. Spiritual promotion? An elevation to the eldership? It is left hanging with a host of other questions. But it was a popular story for a while and seems to belong in this lounge.

My final spiritual anecdotes are about divine healing. One story is about a woman who had bad teeth and needed fillings. (Presumably she couldn’t find an NHS dentist?) She asks for prayer. And lo! Her teeth are better. Not only better but she now has gold fillings! Why doesn’t she get her real teeth made whole again? The question is never asked.

My final story is about bad backs and their healing. The story is that a woman has a bad back that doesn’t respond to conventional treatment. She is in considerable pain and asks to be prayed for. This is done.  God tells the person doing the praying that the woman’s problem is not her back, but her legs. One leg is of unequal length to the other. Thus causing a backache. She is asked if she would like her shorter leg lengthened or her longer leg shortened! Her reply is not known but the story is amusing and colourful.

We’ll leave these good folk to enjoy their cruise safe in the knowledge that should any emergency occur, they are in safe hands. Those of the almighty!